he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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