Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
