by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
