Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
