Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
