so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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