areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
