the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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