I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
That accounts for only three of the penises
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
