you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
