He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
