What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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