It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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