You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
