what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
It's shark week go big or go home
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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