Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
