I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
