just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
