So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
