we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
