and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize