Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.