I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks