Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
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I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
just found out that she named her cat after me.
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Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.