what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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