I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
