WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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