does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
