I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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