I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Randomize
