if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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