i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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