I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
