he shaved USA in his pubs
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
