he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
