He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
