This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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