walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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