hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Randomize