he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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