Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
