:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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