Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
