I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
