I wish life had little blips of pornography
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
