We're facebook friends in real life
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
