giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
