filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize