Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
