i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
