apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
