I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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