Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
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you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
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"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I fill condoms, not promises.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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