so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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