do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
