I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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