My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize